The importance of parenting

I never knew parenting was so important until I read Betty Krawczyk's story. I also never knew how famous Betty was until reading about her in Dr. Gabor Mate's book, When the Body Says No. I learnt that Betty is very well known in BC because of her environmental and political protesting. I believe this protesting relates to her childhood; she was an independent child growing up and the only one who could stand up to her abusive father. I believe she thought she could stand up to anyone if she could stand up to her scary father who she had night mares about. Betty ended up leaving home early, had four husbands and eight children. Her last husband gained custody of all her children but one - Barbara Ellen. Barbara Ellen was born and raised by Betty and didn't have the best life either. As a young adult, Barbara became addicted to narcotic painkillers and tranquilizers, right up until she was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 27. Betty feels like her stressful life was passed down to cause Barbara a stressful life, which I entirely agree with. Barbara went from relationship to relationship very quickly because she couldn't stand to be alone. You can see a pattern forming from one generation to another, which is really sad because if they could have received psychological help, it could have saved Barbara's life.

What really interested me, was the fact that Barbara had to ask her mom's permission to die. If they didn't have a very strong relationship, than why was it so important for Barbara to have this permission to finally let go? Well, Dr. Mate explains that Barbara and Betty had a strong relationship, it is just hidden. When Barbara was born, Betty was "emotional needy and exhausted". Therefore, Barbara matured way before she should have in order to maintain the relationship. It is the parent's job to take care of their kids - not the other way around. Barbara would hide things from her mother, in order to protect her and Barbara felt like she had to keep protecting her mother, until she felt like she could leave her by herself. Dr. Mate says that the people he sees with cancers and all these conditions. have difficulty saying no and expressing anger. In the last 6 months of her life, Barbara was beginning to say no and let her frustration out. She let out frustration with her mother and life in general. Unfortunately, it was too late and Barbara died in the hospital bed with her mother by her side.

I have attached a link to Betty Krawczyk's blog, where she talks about environmental and political concerns. Betty is also the author of a book called, Clayoquot.

http://bettysearlyedition.blogspot.com/